the worst story

by horace p sternwall

i was walking down euston road when i was suddenly confronted by sinclair, usually the most undemonstrative of men. “have you heard about tremayne?” he blurted out. “why no, “ i replied. “i have not heard anything about tremayne. what is there to hear?” “it’s dreadful! “ sinclair exclaimed. “positively dreadful1 the worst story in the history of the world.” i hardly knew what to say to that, but before i could summon up a response, sinclair went on, “meet me at the club tonight and i will tell you all about it.” “i will be sure to do that,” i replied, and sinclair went on his way. leaving me in a state of some small curiosity, though, truth be told, i hardly knew tremayne, or had given him any thought since our schooldays. the night was a dark and rainy one, and i set myself beside the fire at the club with a stiff brandy, and waited for sinclair. but he did not show up, and as the fire burned low and was replenished and burned low again, i fell sleep in the chair. when i awoke, i was assured by the steward that sinclair had not shown up. so far as i knew, tremayne was not a member of the club, and when i enquired i was assured that no such gentleman was known to the staff or had made an appearance. i went back the next two nights, with similar results, though on neither night did i wait quite so long for my unpunctual storyteller. in fact, i never heard from or of sinclair again, or learned the dreadful fate of the unfortunate tremayne. i did, however, develop a slight stiffness in my lower back, which i have never entirely lost.

poem 300

by corinne delmonico

sometimes i wonder why i am on this earth my mom was not a virgin not even at my birth my dad was not the lightning and on a mountain did not live and words of truth and wisdom he had but few to give the people that i lived with woke up every day but exactly why they did that they really could not say they ate cheeseburgers and donuts but did not make their own without dunkin and mcdonalds they would be skin and bone they had 5000 channels to watch on the tv on exactly what to watch and when they did not always agree if they had been neanderthals or monkeys in a tree or wanderers in the desert would they have been more free? o wise men in your think tanks and sages in seminars think of the lonely prairie dog beneath the disappearing stars

poem 200

by corinne delmonico

this is a poem that by myself i wrote david was just a little boy but big goliath he smote joshua blew his trumpet against the canaanites he practiced through the night and day until he got it right cleopatra ruled the world and floated down the nile she could have lived forever but got tired after a while henry viii was a mighty man and liked his roasts well done he wanted a true and loyal wife but had trouble finding one billy the kid was a killer with a price upon his head he always knelt and said his prayers before he went to bed some lucky folks are famous and songs about them sung but most are soon forgotten and some born to be hung i am sitting in the raindrops feeling so forlorn i really need somebody to blame for being born

dream

by corinne delmonico

i had a dream last night the party was over the other guests had all gone home the host had retired to his study i went for a walk in the garden under a full moon the garden was filled with statues there was a statue of alexander the great weeping at the river weeping at the river forever there was a statue of pharoah’s daughter discovering little moses discovering little moses forever and joshua blowing his trumpet fighting the battle of jericho with the walls tumbling down forever and lincoln in his top hat freeing the slaves freeing the slaves forever it started to rain so i stopped looking at the statues and went inside the house was filled with corridors long corridors long corridors lined with pictures there was a picture of jesse james getting shot in the back by bob ford getting shot in the back by that dirty little coward forever and edmond dantes diving under the water finding the treasure finding endless wealth forever and orville wright flying the first plane at kitty hawk flying through the foggy air forever and delilah cutting samson’s hair while the poor boy slept like a baby slept like a baby forever and robert e lee at appomatox surrendering to grant handing his sword to grant forever and dracula outside the window looking in at lucy looking in at sweet lucy with his glowing eyes forever and teddy roosevelt at san juan hill charging up san juan hill charging up the hill forever and lindbergh riding down broadway in an open limousine being cheered by the crowd being cheered by the crowd on broadway forever and anne frank in her attic writing in her diary writing in her diary forever and oswald getting shot getting shot by jack ruby getting shot by jack ruby forever all these people with their stories doing things in their stories doing them forever everybody doing things forever living forever doing their things forever everybody except me because i am going to die some day sad!

102

by corinne delmonico

nobody knows my name and rules the world they rule the world because they know my name but i have no name orangutans live in the trees they have long arms that hang down sadly sadly among the disappearing leaves pomegranates are referenced in poems but nobody really eats them have you ever eaten a pomegranate? at night the earth is quiet but not as quiet as it used to be before you all came along robin hood robbed the rich to give to the poor but kept a little for himself because he had to eat samson was big and strong and loved delilah he loved delilah because he was big and strong but no good came of it turtles live a long time longer than mosquitoes or tigers or humans but they don’t go anywhere much uncle john kept his pants up with a suspender a single suspender held on with a button i swear he did the possums came out at night in old virginia by the light of the moon in old virginia and ate the watermelons woodrow wilson wore a top hat he wore a top hat because he was woodrow wilson when he took it off he was not woodrow wilson any more expect the best and you will get nothing expect nothing and you will get something your mother expects you for dinner a lonely youth sits in a lonely room he is lonely because he is a youth and his true love is only a dream zebras share the earth with humans but do not really care much for them and wish they would go back to their own planet

101

by corinne delmonico

ali is a muslim and plants bombs in cars he plants bombs in cars because he is a muslim all muslims plant bombs in cars bud is an african american man and holds up liquor stores he holds up liquor stores because he is an african american man all african american men hold up liquor stores hillary clinton was a woman and ran for president she ran for president because she was a woman all women run for president donald trump is a white man and was elected president he was elected president because he is a white man all white men are elected president einstein was a scientist and smoked a pipe he smoked a pipe because he was a scientist all scientists smoke pipes frank sinatra was italian and sold a lot of records he sold a lot of records because he was italian all italians sell a lot of records gorgeous george had long blond curls and everybody hated him everybody hated him because he had long blond curls george thought of himself as a pretty nice guy hitler was a bad person and had a little mustache he kept it neatly trimmed all the time but sometimes his hair fell down over his forehead i am a nice person i wish people liked me more i wish people liked me more because i am a nice person joe dimaggio was a strange man and played baseball he played baseball because he was a strange man all strange men play baseball jack kerouac had a cool name and went on the road he went on the road because he had a cool name he didn’t care if it rained or snowed leonardo da vinci was a genius and lived a long time ago he lived a long time ago because he was a genius all people who lived a long time ago were geniuses marilyn monroe was a human female and a sex goddess she was a sex goddess because she was a human female all human females are sex goddesses

rabbit

by corinne delmonico

i am a citizen of the new world i get junk mail including lots of calendars i got a calendar about saving animals there were pictures of cute cats and dogs and pigs and whales and chimps and gorillas and a lemur with big sad eyes looking into the depths of your soul and … a rabbit and my first thought was a rabbit! a flipping rabbit! rabbits are not exactly an endangered species! “The world's domesticated rabbit population is estimated at 709 million. however, there are many different species of wild rabbits that live throughout the world. since rabbits have been introduced to many habitats to which they are not native, it would be very difficult, to estimate the wild population. “ i guess! but then i thought what difference does it make? a rabbit is just a living creature that wants to live does a rabbit know that there are a trilion other rabbits in the world? as opposed to an albigensian lemur of which there are only 15 left in the forest in madagascar? maybe it does maybe a rabbit knows it can find fellow bunnies wherever it goes in the world whereas the albigensian lemur knows it better not go very far or it will never find a friend but again, maybe not does a rabbit know it is a “rabbit”? do cats and dogs know they are “cats” and “dogs” ? as opposed to just being creatures that you might hang with or ignore or fight or eat as the situation calls for? do humans know they are “humans”? a human can have a dog for his best friend and happily kill other humans, no? but humans love the idea of different creatures getting along make a video or a gif of a cat getting along with a monkey, or an octopus being pals with a porcupine, or an elephant snuggling with a piranha, and put it on line and you will get 10 or 20 million likes as opposed to a poem which might get 1 or 2 likes from your mom or your best friend if you are lucky don’t forget, september 23 is international rabbit day just some thoughts on a gray morning