Friday, September 23, 2016

on a distant planet

by fred flynn

illustrations by konrad kraus

a bunker.

throckmorton smoking a pipe, barker pacing.

a bad business.

indeed it is.

beastly, absolutely beastly.

and will probably get more beastly.

heads will roll over this, i warrant.

yes, if there are any heads left to roll.

a complete balls-up from the beginning.

no doubt. ah, here’s merton. any signs of life from 3rd brigade?

nothing, sir. should i send some scouts out?

no, not yet. keep me informed.

yes, sir.

(merton departs)

beastly, absolutely unsupportably beastly.

yes, but we shall just have to carry on.

perhaps you should have a scout sent out.

why don’t you go, take a look around?


yes, you.

should i tell off a couple of men?

no, just take a look around yourself.

very good.

one is harder to spot than two or three.

quite right.

and one will be on his toes, and will look sharp, and not look for the other fellows to spot something.

yes, i expect that is so.

so be off with you then.

(barker departs)

ah, there you are, harris. anything to report?

no, sir. a rum business, this.


someone will get the sack for this.

yes, if there is anyone left to get the sack.

ah, what i wouldn’t give to be in my club right now, with a warm brandy in front of a roaring fire!

why don’t you go out and take a look around?

a look around?


should i tell off a couple of chaps?

no, go by yourself. i just sent barker out. if you see him going in one direction, you go the other.

yes, sir.

(harris departs)

Wednesday, September 14, 2016


by corinne delmonico

illustrations by konrad kraus

i was in the waiting room
of the dentists office

in heaven

there were other people there

pope alexander vi was there,
or maybe it was pope innocent iii or mark antony

billy graham was there
or maybe it was john dillinger or woodrow wilson

and blackbeard the pirate
or maybe it was genghis khan or david hume

charles darwin was there
or maybe erasmus darwin or lord palmerston

and florence nightingale
or maybe it was margaret mead or phyllis schlafly

there are a lot of people in heaven
it can be hard to tell them apart

anyway all these people
many of whom

had so much to say for themselves
on earth

had nothing to say
in the dentists office in heaven

and we all sat there silently
staring at our feet

or at the magazines on the table


simone de beauvoir
or maybe madame chiang kai-shel

handed me the august 1937 issue of the national geographic

and asked
would you like to look at the august 1937 issue of the national geographic?

Tuesday, September 13, 2016


by chuck leary

illustrations by pete palomine

i was young
and now i’m old
i was hot
and now i’m cold

i had energy
now i’m tired
i was cool
and now i’m wired

i had the world
spread out before me
but then my friends
began to bore me

i was innocent
but did learn
that friends against me
could quickly turn


i had a friend named jim
i was better than him
and another friend named lee
he was better than me

i had a friend named lou
who knew just what to do
and another friend named cole
who wanted to save my soul

i had a friend named clyde
who took me for a ride
and a friend named brad
who took everything i had

i had an enemy named joe
who knew things i didn’t know
and an enemy named ray
that i hope to meet some day


friends and enemies
vanish in the breeze

i wish i had more friends
but the dream never ends

Monday, September 12, 2016


by wiggly jones, "the little hippie boy"

illustrations by konrad kraus

people are bad
they should be good

they should stop fighting wars
and dropping bombs

and making money
and trying to get ahead

and thinking other people are different
and that they are better than other people

and everybody should be friends
and just help each other out

war is bad
violence is bad

prejudice is bad
capitalism is bad

millions of books
billions of poems

trillions of thoughts
quadrillions of words

continuously flow across the planet
and into the void

saying people should stop being bad
and start being good

but they just keep on
doing what they do

Tuesday, September 6, 2016


by corinne delmonico

illustrations by konrad kraus

how dreary life is!

after the lights are turned off
in the museum
after a long day

of sipping tea
and eating chocolate torte

with raspberry icing
to the echo of clicking heels

how dreary the world is
with the rain falling
in puddles

outside the pet shop
and the sad lizard

o the sad lizard!

behind the rain-streaked window
of the pet shop