i tell you what. let’s settle this with our fists.
the officer, whose name was legion johnson, could not believe their ears.
settle this with our fists!
who or what are you, anyway, legion asked the malefactor. are you some kind of time traveler from a vanished age that you employ such an antiquated term and concept, or are you just having a bit of fun with me? i warn you in all sincerity, i am not a fun person.
the malefactor made as if to speak, but legion interrupted.
before we go any further, let me have your name, if you please.
i do not have one.
make one up.
that is easier said than done.
it is not difficult at all. would you like some help?
oh, i guess so.
there are fourteen categories of names to choose from. they are -
legion rattled off -
a - numbers
b -colors
c - ordinary
d - common
e - famous real
f - funny
g - famous fictional
h - random letter
i - meaningless
j - offensive
k - positive
l - negative
m - animal
and n - ambiguous. would you like me to repeat them?
why don’t you just give me a name? i have never been very good at making choices.
excuse me, the accuser, the person who had lost their dog, interrupted. do you not want their serial number?
i already have their serial number, by scanning their dna, as i have yours. do not tell me how to do my job.
then what do you need a name for?
regulations.
oh look, the accuser suddenly explained. here comes eddie now. eddie, you bad boy, where have you been?
i guess we can forget about all this then, the nameless malefactor observed suavely, and be on our way as if nothing happened.
i am afraid it is not as simple as all that, legion informed them.
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