frankie and johnny were lovers
frankie was johnny’s girl
eddie was johnny’s best friend
he started messing around with frankie
because that was the kind of guy eddie was
the kind of guy who would steal his best friend’s girl
johnny got mad
where do you get off, he asked eddie, stealing my girl?
hold it right there, said frankie
i’m not your girl or anybody’s girl
get it straight, you mugs, i don’t belong to anybody
except to myself, you got that?
and with that frankie blew some smoke in the general direction of the mississippi river
johnny and eddie were struck dumb
they did not know what to say
they both left town the next day
johnny entered a monastery and became brother john
in time he became head monk
under his guidance the monastery regained its reputation for sanctity
but its vineyards lost some of their luster
eddie hitchhiked to memphis
where he fell in with a guy known as mean old stagger lee
eddie and stagger lee began holding up banks and jewelry stores from kansas city to pittsburgh
they got in a shootout outside evansville indiana
a federal man’s bullet found the heart of stagger lee
eddie got 99 years