hank blueberry 5670-j-87 and sir lancelot 5636-d-07 lived on the 67th floor of building 6308 of a large american- euopean city.
they never had much to say to each other.
on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least talkative and 10 the most talkative, hank was a 2.8 and lancelot was a 7.9.
one day as they were passing in the corridor of the 67th floor, lancelot blurted out to hank -
you should check your mail.
i never get any mail, hank replied. i am not sure i still have a mailbox,
you have one. ask roger to help you find it if you need help. you might be surprised at what you find. it might be worth your while.
hank just grunted. but he had nothing better to do, so later that day, he did as lancelot suggested.
*
dear hank blueberry 5670-j-87,
[
perhaps you have heard of me. my name is elon musk, and i was, until this morning as i write this, the richest man on earth.
but i have taken vow of of poverty, and have decided to take my obscene wealth and divide it up equally among all the inhabitants of this unfortunately mismanaged planet.
i had a total of $701,895,054, 345. 93 in my bank account when i withdrew it effective 6:43 am greenwich time this morning.
and the planet had a population of 10,678, 443, 532 persons when i withdrew it.
this amounts to $65.73 per person.
unfortunately, the cost per person of printing and mailing the checks amounts to $2.84 per person, reducing the amount per check to $62.89.
your check is enclosed. there are no conditions attached to it by myself. if you attempt to purchase anything with it deemed illegal by your local authorities, that is your lookout.
please do not attempt to reply to this letter, as by the time you receive it, i will be practicing my vow of poverty, perhaps on a mountaintop, perhaps under a tree, in a hopefully undisclosable location.
sincerely,
brother y-27 , formerly known as elon musk.
*
hank stared at the check. was it real? he would find out, but was in no hurry to do so. he supposed something about it would be in the news, whether it was real or not.
would he bother cashing it, if it was real? maybe.
he could aways use it as a bookmark.
to be continued?
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