are you even trying ? - 23. across

by nick nelson

part twenty-three of 23

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> billy drove the long black limousine across the desert. an enormous moon lit up the night sky.. the sun would not come up for another four hours. veracruz, or yucatan or morocco or macao, was still a long way away. beside him, juiet yawned. somewhere an animal howled. stop, juliet said. why? i want to get in the back and get some sleep. billy cruised to a stop. juliet got out, and johnny got out of the back seat, and juliet and johnny switched places. billy drove on in silence. another animal howled, either closer or just louder than the one before. neither billy nor johnny commented. johnny had already realized that billy was not the talkative type. neither was johnny. what was there to say? they would either be caught or they would not be. * i am sorry i could be of more assistance, capone told mr b. there was nothing you could do, mr b assured him. i am not blaming you. but i consider myself to owe you something. just let me know if there is ever anything i can do for you. i will keep it in my mind, mr b said. capone nodded, and got to his feet and left. the end

are you even trying? - 22. fall

by nick nelson

part twenty-two of 23

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> mrs worth looked up from the crossword magazine she had been flipping through, trying to decide whether to do a difficult puzzle, or a not so difficult one. can i help you, sir? she asked the visitor. i want to see my old pal johnny. is your old pal johnny expecting you? no, but i know he would like to see me. do you have anything to show that he might want to see you? no, but i know that he would. you will have to do a little better than that, sir. the director is a busy person. he is in conference now, in any case. i can wait. not in here. show some evidence that he might want to see you, or be on your way. gee, that’s harsh. are you going to throw me out? obviously, i am not going to pick you up myself and throw you out. but i have all the resources of organization a at my disposal at the touch of a button. how about organization b? i think organization a is capable by itself. can i leave a message? this is the modern age, sir. there are numerous channels and applications by which you can leave a message. i would like to leave a note, on paper, if that is all right with you. you want me to give you a piece of paper, and what, a pencil? no, i have it all written down. mrs worth shrugged. fine. just leave it on the desk. the visitor took a small piece of paper, folded in fours, out of his pocket and stepped up and placed it carefully on the desk. you see, he smiled at mrs worth, i came prepared. mrs worth did not reply. when the visitor had left and closed the door behind him, she unfolded the piece of paper. on it was written: highway 93. * buddy stopped the truck. there were no lights, or any other signs of life, visible on the highway. wait here,buddy told johnny. i will be right back. this is my last chance, johnny thought. he counted to sixty-six. the cab door opened soundlessly, and he climbed down. johnny ran. he ran and ran and ran. he came to the old house. it had no lights on, but he felt sure there was someone in it. he crept up to the window and looked in. juliet was sitting on a long sofa, and billy the kid was pacing up and down in front of an unlit fireplace. johnny tapped on the window. next

are you even trying? - 21. rise

by nick nelson

part twenty-one of 23

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> johnny bit into the ham and egg sandwich, and quickly rose to the top of the organization. johnny had what it took. it was all about the organization. the organization came first. he was tough but fair. if you played ball with him, he would play ball with you. he was loyal. as he climbed the ladder, he took old sarge, cookie, and mrs worth with him. old sarge was his bodyguard and chauffeur, , cookie was his chef and valet, and mrs worth was his secretary. johnny traveled all over the world. his name was never in the media, but he rubbed elbows with anybody who was anybody. it looked like he was on tap to take over the organization, when mister a retired. and then it all came crashing down. big as he was, johnny had an open door policy. it had always served him well. the humblest supplicants from within the organization and even from without, could come into his office, and plead his case, if they could get past old sarge and mrs worth. a guy came into the office, one rainy afternoon.. a big guy, a little out of shape, but looking like he used to be in good shape. not dressed too sharp, but not like a bum either. his red white and blue tie was neatly knotted. old sarge was in the waiting area, reading ring magazine. remember me? the guy asked old sarge. can’t say that i do, pal, old sarge replied, barely looking at the guy. old sarge was asked this question many times, often more than once in a day. you sure about that? and something in the guy’s voice … set off a distant bell in old sarge’s brain, maybe from back before he was old sarge, when he was just a little fellow running barefoot in the dust trying to catch snakes under a yellow sky… what can i do for you? he said, looking right at the visitor for the first time. i would like to see your boss. i think he would like to see me. all right, then, go through that door. the secretary might let you through. then again, she might not. thank you, the visitor replied. he went through the door, where mrs worth was waiting for him. next

are you even trying ? - 20. belong to me

by nick nelson

part twenty of 23

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> a tall stoop-shouldered individual was waiting for johnny in the shadows outside the office. i am old sarge, he said to johnny , and you belong to me. i’m hungry, johnny replied. can’t it wait until morning? i would rather not. old sarge stroked his long jaw thoughtfully. all right, he said, but then you owe me. i thought i already belonged to you. yes, but then you will belong to me and owe me both. whatever, i just want something to eat. all right, come over to the food court with me. we will see if cookie is still awake. if you are old sarge. how come you are not wearing a uniform? johnny asked as they walked along through the darkness, i only wear it on special occasions. johnny did not ask what the special occasions might be. they reached the “food court”, which looked like an all night diner, the kind you might find in pittsfield massachusetts or altoona pennsylvania. a fat man was waiting behind the counter. this is cookie, old sarge told johnny. he sat down on a stool at the counter. give this punk whatever he wants, within reason. after you get me a cup of coffee. johnny did not object outwardly to being called a punk. he sat down, leaving a stool between himself and old sarge. what will you have? cookie asked johnny, in a soft, hoarse voice. a ham and egg sandwich. and a peanut butter and a jelly sandwich. i can handle that, cookie replied. you want coffee? yes, please, johnny replied politely. neither sarge nor cookie commented on his good manners, and cookie moved away down the counter. johnny looked around, for the first time he noticed someone sitting in a booth in the corner. it was buddy, with a cup of coffee in front of him. he did not show any sign of recognizing johnny, and johnny did not show any sign of recognizing him, and turned his gaze back behind the counter. johnny noticed that there were no menus, or other signs, on the walls. next

are you even trying? - 19. big business

by nick nelson

part nineteen of 23

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> go ahead, mrs worth repeated, what do you think the biggest business in the world is? bacon and egg sandwiches. speaking of which, i could go for one right now. that is not correct. want to try again? peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. i would settle for one of those. for someone whose life is about to undergo a radical transformation, you certainly have snacks on the brain. snacks? i am starving. neither of those answers is correct, mrs worth replied, ignoring johnny’s plea. want to make one last guess? no. why don’t you just tell me? kinetic promulgation. the biggest business in the world is kinetic promulgation, and you have have been recruited into its ranks. why me? i am not a kinetic and i don’t know how to promulgate anything. you don’t need any prior knowledge. you will be trained from the ground up. great, just give me something to eat. you have a one track mind, don’t you? i think i will assign you to the territorial expansion division. whatever. any questions? um - do i get to wear a uniform? why? would you like to wear one? i was just asking. you might wear one, after you are trained, and depending on your assignment. anything else? not really. i just asked about the uniform because you wanted me to say something and you would get all hot and bothered if i asked about food again. i have a question for you, mrs worth said, eyeing johnny with a steely resolve. shoot. what were you doing out on highway 65, desperately seeking transportation? i would prefer not to say. mrs worth shrugged. your brain will be scanned, and we will find out eventually anyway. be that as it may, johnny replied evenly, i would prefer to keep my own counsel at this particular point in time. have it your way. mrs worth pressed a button on the underside of her desk. wait outside, someone will come along for you. next

are you even trying? - 18. the organization

by nick nelson

part eighteen of 23

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> the truck stopped in front of a small wooden building with a faded sign marked “office”. the building’s one window was lit up. buddy and johnny climbed down from the cab. well, kid, buddy said, it was a pleasure knowing you. he started off into the darkness. wait, johnny said, what about me? buddy looked back and nodded at the office. they will take care of you in there. and with that he was gone, swallowed up in the night. there was no sign of anybody coming out of the office, so johnny tried the door. it opened easily. he stepped into a narrow corridor. there was an open door to his right, to a small room. a grayhaired woman was sitting at a desk, writing something. a small lamp on the desk provided the only light, the light johnny had seen in the window. have a seat, the woman said, without looking up at johnny. there was a single folding chair in front of the desk, and johnny sat down in it. the woman oontinued her scribbling, for more than a minute. johnny waited. finally she finished, and pushed aside the notebook or ledger she had been writing in, and looked at johnny. who brought you in? she asked. his said his name was buddy. buddy. he dos not always bring in the best recruits. but not always the worst either. she stared at johnny, as if daring him to contradict her. what am i being recruited for? johnny asked. for the organization, of course. what else? organization a, to be specific, as opposed to organization b. what is your name? johnny asked. mrs worth. johnny had expected her to say her name was smith or jones or brown or white, or maybe constance or maybelline, but he did not say so and just nodded. i am hungry, by the way, he added. let’s take care of business here first. mrs worth told him. do you have any questions? johnny wanted to say, what’s for dinner? but he said, what is the organization and what am i going to do in it? the world is organized into two organizations, mrs worth replied patiently. organization a, which tales care of the biggest business, and organization b, which takes care of all the other business. but what is the biggest business? you mean you do not know? no, i do not know. what an innocent you must be. do you want to hazard a guess? johnny had never heard anyone say “hazard a guess” before. he supposed it meant the same as make a guess. next

are you even trying? - 17. the river

by nick nelson

part seventeen of 23

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> the crowd was screaming and laughing at a person who had jumped in the river. the person was trying to swim, presumably to the opposite shore, but was sinking beneath the waves without making much progress. the version was losing to the streetlamp, and no one had seen a soldier or a policeperson since the sun had started to go down. poor devil, an old woman said, he must have lost his ticket, to do such a desperate thing. tickets! screamed a man with a green face. what good are our tickets now! ha ha ha ha! he began laughing hysterically and most of the crowd joined in. it was getting late. johnny did not know what to do. he had been torn between going back to the deserted city where he must have dropped his ticket, and hoping for some other miracle… and now all around him people were saying that there was no hope even if you had a ticket, because the version was not coming back, and the streetlamp was sinking into the river. when he saw the savagery on the faces of the mob still taunting the poor devil who was trying to swim to the other shore… he decided to go back into the city… nobody followed him. the street was deserted and did not look familiar. where was the store with the big picture of the little girl and the dog in the window? this was not even the right street! how could he find the ticket he must have dropped, if he was not even on the right street? suddenly a jeep with four blue uniformed soldiers with rifles with bayonets slung on their shoulders appeared in front of him. where are you going? the driver of the jeep asked johnny. she had a hat with some sort of insignia on it - a snake?. i lost my ticket, johnny blurted out. it has to be around here somewhere. yeah right, the soldier beside the driver drawled. a likely story! i earned it, johnny cried. i earned it fair and square. i took the test and earned my ticket fair and square, honest i did? keep talking, a soldier behind the driver sneered. he looked familiar. nobody who could pass the test and earn a ticket, the driver replied evenly, would be so pathetically stupid as to let it fall out of his pocket. especially on judgment day, said the soldier behind her shoulder. johnny recognized him. it was buddy! he woke up. it was still dark. the truck was turning through an open gate. buddy was saying something to the guard who had opened the gate. johnny must have fallen asleep again. and he had woken up again. or had he? when would he ever learn? next

are you even trying? - 16. the dark heart

by nick nelson

part sixteen of 23

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> where are you taking me? johnny asked the driver. why do you ask? the driver asked. ii am taking you where i am taking you. there is nothing you can do about it. how do you know i don’t have a gun in my pocket and i will take it out and shoot you? you fell asleep, remember? did it occur to you that i could have checked your pockets while you wee asleep? did you? what do you think? how do you know i do not have psychic mind powers and can just zap your brain and kill you? i guess i don’t know. it is just the chance i am taking. besides, if you have secret powers, why would you be out desperately hitchhiking on the highway? how do you know i am desperate? johnny asked. i guess i just know it. i might have psychic mind powers, too. look, why don’t you ask me a reasonable civilized question? like what? like my name. all this time and you have not even asked me my name. that is kind of hurtful. i don’t care what your name is. and getting kidnapped is kind of hurtful, too, wouldn’t you say? that is an ugly word, with even uglier connotations. i am not kidnapping you, i am recruiting you, doesn’t that sound less stressful and hostile? my name is buddy , by the way, since you didn’t ask. bleep you, buddy. all right, buddy replied with a sigh, take that attitude. what are you recrutiing me to? i am glad you asked that question. before you go any further, johnny interrupted, i am hungry. you said you were not going to kill me, are you going to starve me? now that mention, buddy replied, i am kind of hungry myself. but we are deep in the dark heart of the american night. johnny glanced out the window. the whole time they had been talking, nothing had appeared on the highway, either behind them or in front of them, or on either side of the road. isn’t there anything to eat in the dark whatever? johnny asked. buddy laughed, as if johnny had said the funniest thing he had ever heard. next

are you even trying? - 15. nowhere

by nick nelson

part fifteen of 23

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> it seemed to juliet that they had been driving for days without seeing a person, or a building, or even a tree. only unending miles of rolls of razor wire. this really is a lonesome highway, she said to billy. yes, it is. how can there be so much space with nobody in it? i have been taught all my life that the world is overcrowded, and that people are stacked up on top of each other reaching to the moon. well, they are, said billy, where they are. but this is not where they are. no. how long have we been on this road? juliet asked. i know it is not really, but it seems days. about nine hours. do you want to drive? are you getting tired? who, me? no, i am as wide awake as ever. i just thought you might like to take over, break the monotony. but isn’t the car basically driving itself? of course. it is just that one of us has to be awake, in case something unexpected happens. but you don’t want to sleep? no, but i want to hook my mind up with the professor. oh. juliet was still not sure who or what “the professor” was, but did not say anything about it. aloud she said, all right, i will take the controls for a while, at least until it gets dark. oh, it won’t get dark for a while yet. billy stopped the car. the both got out, and stretched and wandered around a little bit. juliet walked up to within a couple of feet in front of the razor wire. i know i asked you before, but what is this protecting? or protecting from ? i don’t see anything behind it. that does not mean there is nothing there, billy replied. or that there is anything there. juliet was just beginning to get mildly annoyed at billy’s enigmatic pronouncements. not that she regretted her sudden decision to run away with him, to the middle of nowhere. or the beginning of nowhere, or the end of nowhere, or wherever they were . she was just happy to be free. next

are you even trying? - 14. beyond indianapolis

by nick nelson

part fourteen of 23

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> you have some kind of nerve, johnny told the driver, taking it upon yourself to bring me here to indianapolis when i specifically said i wanted to go to cleveland. i do have some kind of nerve, the driver agreed. in fact i have all different kinds of nerve, you might be surprised. whatever kinds of nerve you have, johnny shot back, that does not give you the right to take me to indianapolis against my will. who said we were stopping in indianapolis? we are just passing by indianapolis. close your eyes and open them again and indianapolis will be in the rear view mirror. then where are we going? johnny asked. deep into the dark heart of the american night. oh. how far away is that? it depends. depends on what? on how dark your own heart is. johnny had no answer for that. he decided to change the subject. are you going to kill me? ha ha. no, what gave you that idea? you have a morbid imagination, my friend. well, that is a relief. then what are you going to do with me? i am going to put you to work. you are going to earn your keep for once in your young life. johnny looked out the window to collect himself before replying to the driver’s outrageous statement. they were traveling down a particularly barren stretch of highway, with no lights showing, even in the distance. also, there were no stars in the sky. was this “the dark heart of the american night”? whatever that meant. next

are you even trying? - 13. possibilities

by nick nelson

part thirteen of 23

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> molloy checked his phone. there were 33,409 guys named eddie in the city. and 27,905 named frank. 1,896 of them were pals. but probably only one of them was called full tank frank and had a pal called out of gas eddie. molloy sincerely hoped such was the case. he did not really have a great deal of confidence that they had anything to do with the lady in the red dress and the demise of the unfortunate collins. the frank and eddie in question, if they were still even around, were the smallest of the small time, so small they hardly existed. and if they were no longer around, and if there was some other frank and eddie involved with the lady in red… it meant a lot of work for somebody, presumably some cucumber in the i t department, and not molloy… * after molloy left him, william wilson continued staring into space. i had better get moving, he thought morosely. william wilson was a naturally morose person. he did not play well with others. he was not very good at going out and finding business. collins had been the guy who could do that. and now collins was gone. and william was left with only two cases, the one he had told molloy about, involving (maybe) the small timers frank and eddie. and the other one. the big one. the one so big that the customer, whose name could be spoken out loud, had contacted every missing person operation in the world, who were invited to work purely on speculation. in other words, no money up front and no expenses. just a big payoff if you produced. and competition from a hundred, or a thousand, other operations. william wilson felt like giving up. there was only one reason to go on. well, two, but they were connected. the woman in red. and the fact that somebody thought collins was worth eliminating. nobody was going to eliminate collins because he was looking for frank and eddie. but if they knocked off collins, why would they not knock off william wilson? next

are you even trying? - 12. indianapolis

by nick nelson

part twelve of 23

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> cleveland, huh? cleveland is a great town, but pittsburgh is better, if you ask me. i have never been to pittsburgh, johnny said. never been there? but you are going there? yes, i am. visiting, huh? you got relatives in cleveland? my grandfather. who is your grandfather? daniel boone. hey, he’s my grandfather too! the truck driver exclaimed. that’s quite a coincidence. not so much. everybody has a grandfather. more than one, johnny added. exactly, the driver agreed. johnny closed his eyes and wished he was anywhere but riding down the highway with this fellow. when he opened them, it was night. the lights of a city shone up ahead. was it pittsburgh? the truck passed a brightly lit rest stop, with a big burger king at its center. the burger king had big windows and johnny could see the happy diners eating their burgers and fries and sipping their cokes and smoothies. you fell asleep, the driver said with a friendly laugh. johnny sat up. so, where are we? he asked. we are coming into indianapolis. indianapolis? wasn’t that further west than pittsburgh, where the driver said he was going? and further west than cleveland, where johnny had said he was going? i thought you were going to pittsburgh, johnny said. no, i just said i would leave leave you at pittsburgh, if you wanted to go to cleveland. so, why didn’t you? you just looked so peaceful, i figured you did not really want to go to cleveland. but i really did want to go to cleveland, johnny protested weakly. i don’t think so. i don’t think you want to go anywhere, or know where you are going. and i don’t daniel boone was your grandfather. daniel boone was my grandfather. and he settled this country, and made it great. johnny did not know what to say to that. they had passed the rest stop and the burger king, and the lights of indianapolis - or of the city the driver said was indianapolis - were receding behind them. so where we are going? johnny asked. you will find out, the driver said. next