a little girl was walking down the street.
she saw a flower.
she thought, i am a little girl, i am supposed to like flowers.
actually i hate flowers.
and balloons.
and butterfiles.
and kittens.
and i really really hate puppies.
someday, a long long time from now, i will grow up and i will not have to pretend to like these things.
i will be a total bitch and rule the world and make everybody in it my slave.
while the little girl was thinking these thoughts a nice lady came along.
o look at the flower, little girl, said the nice lady. isn’t it nice.
yes it is, the little girl agreed.
the nice lady had a bag on her shoulder and she reached into it and took out a tiny puppy.
look at the puppy, said the nice lady, isn’t he cute? would you like to kiss him?
bleagh, thought the little girl, but she answered, i would very much like to kiss the puppy but unfortunately i have an allergy that prevents me from doing so.
o that is so sad, said the nice lady. well, have a nice day.
the little girl and the nice lady went their separate ways.
the little girl lived to be ninety years old. she had three husbands, five children, and seven grandchildren. she never conquered the world or made everybody in it her slave, but many people, including her first two husbands, thought she was something of a bitch.
the nice lady lived for another twenty-five years. a fifth grade teacher, she never married or had children but was remembered fondly by many of her pupils because she really was a nice lady.
the puppy lived to be sixteen years old. he spent most of his life indoors. and ate a lot and weighed eighty pounds when he passed away. he always enjoyed his hour or so a day outdoors.
twenty minutes after the little girl and the nice lady parted ways, the flower was run over by a nasty little boy on a tricycle.
