$62.89

by nick nelson

part one of ?

hank blueberry 5670-j-87 and sir lancelot 5636-d-07 lived on the 67th floor of building 6308 of a large american- euopean city. they never had much to say to each other. on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least talkative and 10 the most talkative, hank was a 2.8 and lancelot was a 7.9. one day as they were passing in the corridor of the 67th floor, lancelot blurted out to hank - you should check your mail. i never get any mail, hank replied. i am not sure i still have a mailbox, you have one. ask roger to help you find it if you need help. you might be surprised at what you find. it might be worth your while. hank just grunted. but he had nothing better to do, so later that day, he did as lancelot suggested. * dear hank blueberry 5670-j-87, [ perhaps you have heard of me. my name is flatfoot floogie, and i was, until this morning as i write this, the richest man on earth. but i have taken a vow of of poverty, and have decided to take my obscene wealth and divide it up equally among all the inhabitants of this unfortunately mismanaged planet. i had a total of $701,895,054, 345. 93 in my bank account when i withdrew it effective 6:43 am greenwich time this morning. and the planet had a population of 10,678, 443, 532 persons when i withdrew it. this amounts to $65.73 per person. unfortunately, the cost per person of printing and mailing the checks amounts to $2.84 per person, reducing the amount per check to $62.89. your check is enclosed. there are no conditions attached to it by myself. if you attempt to purchase anything with it deemed illegal by your local authorities, that is your lookout. please do not attempt to reply to this letter, as by the time you receive it, i will be practicing my vow of poverty, perhaps on a mountaintop, perhaps under a tree, in a hopefully undisclosable location. sincerely, brother y-27 , formerly known as flatfoot floogie. * hank stared at the check. was it real? he would find out, but was in no hurry to do so. he supposed something about it would be in the news, whether it was real or not. would he bother cashing it, if it was real? maybe. he could aways use it as a bookmark. to be continued?

an obituary

by fred flynn

citizen johnson harrison died today, at the age of 131, at his home in city 224, second european-atlantic sector. citizen harrison was born on february 27, 73 b r, in the former province of britain. citizen harrison is believed to be the last person to have been designated as an “adult” before the old designations of “adult” and “adolescent” and “child” were abolished in the year 33 b r, by edict 347-fg of the world congress. he received a certificate of “adulthood” on his 45th birthday, on july 20, 33 b r, a couple of days after edict 3467-fg was promulgated but before it could be effectively put in place. according to neighbors who knew citizen harrison in his last years, he took an unreasoning though harmless pride in this fact, and kept the certificate well preserved and prominently displayed in his living space. he was an active member of his local art, poetry, and cooking groups, but won few prizes in them. he was not so active in the local exercise and fitness groups, and took no part in political affairs.