zero plus nothing equals - 9. bunky

by jeremy witherington

part nine of 31

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warren hastings, the third richest man in the world, was getting out of his limousine one morning in front of his office building, when he decided to have a little fun. what he considered in his strangely inaccessible brain to be fun. he took a magic marker out of his pocket and wrote on the side of the building - bunky is smiling. debbie willis johnson, an aspiring journalist and photographer captured the moment. harrison walker, a personal assistant to mr hastings, who followed him out the limousine , considered the message on the wall and decided to leave it as it was and hastened after him into the building. what were the make and model of the limousine? let me get back to you on that. the rest of the morning passed peacefully. mr hastings did what he did and harrison walker assisted him in doing it. bunky was forgoten. except by debbie willis johnson. harrison walker went to lunch with gorgeous george mathews, warren hastings’s chief of staff, and mentioned in passing the curious incident of the morning in which mr hastings had written his whimsical (?) message on the side of the building. george mathews wasted no time in calling one of his underlings and giving him or her their marching orders. harrison and george resumed attacking their salads. and there the matter might have rested. sam o’neil, the city editor of the gazette, was not much interested in debbie willis johnson’s story. but he wished to get into debbie’s good graces, so he purchased her photo of mr hastings message on the building wall for a modest sum. debbie was short of loose cash and happy to get the money. and there the matter might have rested. later that afternoon, after a not particularly delicate negotiation with some unscupulous rascals from asia, george mathews casually asked warren hastings - who is bunky? bunky? mr hastings asked with a great show of bewilderment - i don’t know anybody named bunky. nobody in the 21st century is named bunky. you watch too many old movies. they will rot your bran. and then where will you be? george made a mental note to have the message removed from the side of the building. next