Sunday, July 24, 2016

thoughts at sunset


by wiggly jones, "the little hippie boy"

illustrations by konrad kraus







people try so hard to be different
but they are all the same
and spend their rapidly dwindling days
inventing elaborate games

cleopatra scratched a mosquito bite
as she floated down the nile
and little moses told her
she looked prettier when she smiled

cinderella had a runny nose
and couldn’t go to the ball
the wicked stepsisters went instead
a good time was had by all

constantine was a christian
a gentleman through and through
he sat on the beach at sunset
and watched the waves turn red and blue

delilah tricked poor samson
and cut off all his hair
then samson cried his eyes out
because life is so unfair

hitler was a bad person
though he displayed occasional charm
sometimes he wished he had never been born
or stayed down on the farm

stalin had a rosary
his mama gave him when he left home
and he kept it with him forever
through land and sea and foam

walter winchell wore a hat
and smoked many cigarettes
and wore his rubbers when it rained
but still his feet got wet

everybody wants to be famous
and not just do their duty
they will lie and cheat and murder
and even shake their booty

i have no words of wisdom
to keep you from feeling sad
people could be nice to each other
but it is more fun being bad





Tuesday, July 12, 2016

3 portraits


by roger "pegleg" wilson

illustrations by eddie el greco

as originally appearing in the 1940 issue of the furrow , a publication similar to the old farmers almanac , distributed by the adams and bradley farm implement company.





yancey



yancey farrington was born in a little town in indiana about 53 years ago. apprenticed to a druggist, he received from a distant cousin an unexpected inheritance which freed him from the “rat race”.

since then he has traveled the earth seeking a remedy for a mysterious ailment which he declines to describe in detail.

in all climes and weathers, mr farrington can be seen wearing a seersucker suit, a straw hat a strangely disquieting shade of brown, and red suspenders.

in his travels, he has accumulated a rich store of anecdotes, which, however, he recounts in such a rasping, monotonous voice, that listeners are invariably driven away.







yoko



yoko was born in a small island off the northern coast of the land of the rising sun and kidnapped by pirates at an early age.

a small but sturdy child, she was sold by the pirates to the proprietors of an exclusive hotel on a small island about two thousand miles off the west coast of antarctica, frequented by robber barons from all corners of the earth.

she was taught the trade of boot and shoe polishing , and in thirty years put a high shine on over 70,000 pairs of footwear.

one morning shortly after dawn, yoko was walking along the beach and saw a piece of driftwood whose shape could be taken for that of a seahorse, or an angel.

dragging the piece of driftwood into the water, she floated away on it, and was never seen again.







zelma



miss zelma mortenson was the sole remaining member of a once thriving clan of riverboat speculators in a small town in ohio. the mortenson men had also been active in local politics.

she lived alone in three rooms of the large house built by her great grandfather on a hill overlooking the ohio river.

the most notorious and relentless gossips in the town had never found the slightest chink in her spotless reputation, and she could not even be accused of parsimony, as she gave generously to all local charities, and patronized all local businesses, excepting those a lady could not be expected to employ.

one day miss zelma reported to the sheriff that she had found a dead man in one of the many unused rooms in her house.

the man was found on a four-poster bed in a dusty guest room in the abandoned west wing. all the other furniture in the room was covered with cloths or tarpaulins.

the man weighed over 400 pounds, and although there was no sign of a struggle, he had clearly been strangled.

his identity was never learned.

miss zelma’s assurances that she had no idea as to who he was or how he had met his fate, were accepted without demur by the sheriff and by the entire town.

except for one man.

clarence weatherly, a young lawyer who had recently arrived in town and hung up his shingle, and who fancied himself a bit of an amateur detective, thought there was more to the tale than met the eye.

miss zelma has long since met her maker, but mister weatherly, now a trifle gray but still trim and upright, has never ceased in the last thirty-odd years to pursue his enquiries as to the fate of the anonymous victim, whose shade he is determined to avenge.

a curious tale, and one perhaps worthy of further elucidation!



Monday, July 11, 2016

3 more poems


illustrations by palomine studios




who am i?

by wiggly jones, "the little hippie boy"


i was walking down a country road
as it began to rain
i had nothing to remember
and nothing to explain

a child approached me
with a frown upon its face
and enquired as to the chances
of the survival of the human race

i answered i was no villain
nor was i a hero
and the chances of survival of anything in this universe
were zero

the child thanked me politely
and continued on its way
and i regretted my hasty answer
for who was i to say

who was i tell a flea
not to bite a dog or cat
or an elephant not to trample a village
or a sea lion not to get fat?

or a cloud not to shower water
or a rainbow not to shine
or a mosquito not to drink blood
or a bum not to drink wine?

who am i?
who am i indeed?
when the angels are all in the county jail
and the devils have all been freed






kicks

by roger "pegleg" wilson


you don't have to go to paris or rome
to get away from the hicks
anywhere you go
you can get your kicks

kicks, baby
that's all that counts
get them by the bushel
get them by the ounce

kicks on the endless highway
kicks in an alley black
kicks when they throw you in the slammer
kicks when they cut you some slack

i forget what i was saying
when i started down this road
i was waiting for somebody - can’t remember who
but i guess they never showed






true love

by chuck leary


o jenny sue i love you
i love you o so much
i think of you and thrill
to your imaginary touch

i love you in the ether
i love you in the air
i love you when you're not around
and when you're not even there

i love you in the morning mist
i love you in the rain
i love you in the sunset
if i never see you again

you are the dream of love itself
and dreams are all there are
i am sorry you don’t love me back
but you will always be my star

the first time that i saw you
from the window of the bus
i knew that nothing really existed
- except us

i could go on like this forever
and maybe i will try
what else have i to do
when time won’t die?



Tuesday, June 21, 2016

3 poems


by corinne delmonico

illustrations by palomine studios




you know



you know

i guess

whatever

like

and she goes

and i go

and she’s like

right

all right

i’ll do it

time passes

well

well what

are you going to do it

do what

you know what

no what

you know

and she goes

and i’m like

i said i’d do it

stop confusing me

i’m not confusing you

how do you know

i’m me

not you


you’re not me

are you going to do it

i said i would

this is getting ridiculous

then leave

just leave

all right

i’m leaving

time passes

well

well what

what





a dream



last night
i had the strangest dream

actually
it wasn’t very strange

i was walking down a road
i had to get somewhere

to take a test
there were rivers

and mountains
and a seashore


had to take the test
i had been studying for

all my life -
to miss the test

would be shameful
and make my whole life

meaningless
but what could i do?

the test must be starting
and i didn’t even

know where i was
or how to get

anywhere
it was not

a very interesting
dream

but i am not
a very interesting

person
i just kept walking





autobiography


i never climbed a mountain
or swum across a sea
i always wanted to be someone else
but i’m still only me



Saturday, June 11, 2016

a visit

by emily de villaincourt

illustrations by danny delacroix





the doorbell rang.

“that must be semiramis and her mother,” said ms barker.

she got up and went through the drawing room to the front hall and opened the door.

“good afternoon,” the woman at the door said, “you must be ms barker.”

“indeed, i am. and you must be ms waters-lee. and this must be semiramis.”


semiramis was a naturally polite child, besides being well brought up, and she stepped right up and smiled and made eye contact with mrs rogers. “i am indeed semiramis and i am pleased to meet you.”

“come in, come in,” ms barker said. “before it starts to rain.” the sky behind the two visitors was cloudy, and a few leaves and even a piece of paper were blowing down the street.

“this is hecate,” ms barker announced as she ushered the guests into the drawing room.


hecate, who was as well brought up as semiramis, was already standing up and smiled and offered her hand to the visitors.

“i know you two will get along wonderfully together,” ms barker told the two girls.

ms barker and ms waters-lee went off together, to the seminar on cultural cross-pollination that they were co-chairpersons of.

semiramis and hecate stared at each other. semiramis had taken a seat on an old-fashioned divan colored a deep royal blue. when she had leaned back she had almost been swallowed up by the soft cushions, so she quickly sat up straight.


hecate, meanwhile, had reseated herself on a gold-embroidered high-backed armchair.

a glass coffee table lay between them, on which sat a small laptop computer and a few old-fashioned school composition books and some pencils.

“are we alone?” semiramis asked.

“oh no!” hecate exclaimed. “my old governess is up in her room, watching documentaries, which is something of a ritual with her at this time of day. and my physician is here of course, and so is my personal trainer, who has chosen to stay in tonight even though it is one of her nights off. and there are security personnel in the basement and on the top floor.”


“of course,” semiramis replied. “i do not know why i asked. it must be that - i felt a strange silence. something - oh, i don’t what i felt.”

“that is quite all right - i often feel that way myself in this curious old building, which is many centuries old. “

“is it haunted?” semiramis asked.

“ha, ha!” hecate responded. “it is funny that you should ask, because the building does in fact have a reputation for unexplained phenomena.” she pointed to the laptop and the composition books. “in fact, i have been using it as one of the starting points for a book i am writing about the fractal exposition of the human brain since the time of aristotle.”


“that sounds very interesting,” semiramis replied. “i, too, am writing a couple of books. one of them is of such a deeply personal nature that i would prefer not to go into detail. the other is a novel about a shamaness in the six dynasties period of chinese history, and the poet tao yuanming.”

“i would love to read it,” hecate said. “but, here i am being a bad hostess. would you like some lemonade? or some cookies?”

“thank you, that would be very nice. do you mind if i ask you a sort of personal question?”


“um - go ahead.”

“the security personnel here - do you get along well with them?”

“why, of course! we have equality hall here, we are all great chums.”

semiramis hesitated. “the reason i ask, i heard of a rather unpleasant incident in a building on the west side, involving security people.”

“but that is terrible. you must tell me all about it, if you would care to.”


“i think i would rather talk about something more pleasant, if it is all the same to you.”

“certainly, if that is your wish. but here, let me get those cookies and that lemonade.”

hecate returned with the refreshments, and the evening passed pleasantly. they both described their literary and other projects, and had a lively discussion of the world political situation, seen mostly in inverse-aesthetic terms.


nothing more was said about the unpleasant incident on the west side.

eventually ms barker and ms waters-lee returned.

“good-bye, semiramis," said hecate. "i had a lovely and most informative time, and i do hope we can renew our acquaintance before too much time passes.”

“and i feel the same, hecate, and very much look forward to our meeting again.”


“well, girls,” ms barker interjected, “i know you both have very busy schedules, but i am sure something can be arranged.”

ms waters-lee smiled and nodded her assent. “yes, that sounds like a good plan.”

and so the two girls parted - not for the last time.



Monday, May 30, 2016

the city


by wiggly jones, "the little hippie boy"

illustration by konrad kraus and roy dismas






different folks have different ideas
of how life ought to be
some want to do their duty
others just want to be free

some folks want to live forever
in peace and love they trust
others want to conquer the world
and rub its face in the dust

some live inside the great city
others on the outskirts bleak
a few still live in the country
but they will be here next week

once some folks lived in castles
others in hovels bare
now they gather at mcdonalds and wendy’s
and smoothies and fries they share

once some lived in mansions
and walked down marble halls
with pictures of their ancestors
staring from the walls

they slept on sheets of satin
and in the morning rode to hounds
but in the new world such behavior
is strictly out of bounds

others stayed below the stairs
and made the cakes and tea
but now they too are swept along
by the tide of history

the city walls are towering
blotting out the sun
over those who dreamt of glory
and those who just wanted to have fun

those who wanted to save the world
from patriarchy and from sin
those who wanted to invent the games
that only they could win

those who shouted at meetings
with whatever they had to say
and others who were happy
to watch television all day

now all are gathered together
in one happy amalgamation
there is a bit of pushing and shoving
but the train never leaves the station

the city gates are closing
closing in the wind and snow
a few sad stragglers talk to themselves
but they have no place to go



Friday, May 13, 2016

2 poems


illustrations by palomine studios




start over

by chuck leary


i wish i could live my life over
i wish i could start anew
i would be a much better person
my heart would be faithful and true

i would appreciate mama and papa
i’d treat bud and sis like folks
i would stay away from temptation
and never gamble or tell bad jokes

oh you may call me insincere
but whatever you might think
there is one thing i truly abominate
and that is the curse of drink

you may take all the world’s other vices
and roll them up in a ball
but all of them together
will not equal alcohol

you can build up your civilization
you can write your high-sounding laws
it will all dissolve in the morning mist
and drink will be the cause

i wish i could live another life
although it too would pass
i would scorn all evil companions
and never raise a glass









pals and booze: a fragment

by horace p sternwall


the original concept of the pal
is lost in the mists of time
but i summon it, o muse
to invigorate my rhyme

let women, priests, and bureaucrats
judges, jailers, and fat cats
look down their long and pointed noses
true pals will always come up roses

the only thing better, i confess
is pure delirious drunkenness
but what are pals, in song or story
but those who share in liquor’s glory?

oceans ebb and flow
empires come and go
some win, some lose, but only booze
will light life’s brightest fuse

and when bright dawn comes pitiless
to sneer at night’s now lost excess
consider that the coming end
may be your best and final friend